Thursday

Well, the time has come. Emma was unable to walk to her food bowl this morning. She is still interested in food but she can only walk a couple of steps without having to stop and rest. This, together with all the weight she has lost and that she has stopped wanting to go outside for drinks or lay in the sunshine, help us to understand that she has had enough and that it is time.

I rang work to tell them I wouldn't be in, and rang the vets to see when they could fit Emma in. They were very good, especially since by this time, even though we knew we were doing the right thing for Emma, I couldn't stop crying. She has been an amazing presence in the twenty years we've had her and we are going to miss her enormously.

M drove us to the vet; I sat in the back seat holding Emma - I didn't want to know she was going to the vet by putting her in the cage - although we did take one with us in case there were any dogs in the waiting room.

And once we were there, it was good to know that Emma was ready - she had been telling us, getting us ready for a while now I think. We told her that we loved her - as if she didn't know that already - and she just laid down on the table, stretching out along S's arm, looked up at her, held her little paw out for S to hold (Emma loved holding paws) and just retreated into herself, calm and settled. That'll do, Em, that'll do. We held her as the vet gave her the injection, grateful that we had had the opportunity to share so many years with her - there will never be another one like her. Vale Emma.